My Sharona
by dancing barefoot in my socks
Summary: Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, and the rest all get to experience the wonders of modern music when Kagome brings her iPod back with her. Mischief ensues. Things get broken. People pass out. This happened to me in real life.
1. Heeeeeeey, Macarena

Well, this story is here. I was sitting in history doing nothing today (well, I was "studying" for the exam) and this idea came to me. See, my friends and I have this inside joke about the song 'My Sharona', and it just got so funny that I needed to share it. If you find it too psychotic, you can just blame it on the allergy medicine I'm on right now.

Oh, and worry not, faithful reviewers, the next chapter of 'Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way' is in the works. Yes, I DO know that it's been all of 7 months since the last update. I went and got writer's block after I realized I killed off Sango. gets spooky ghost voice buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut sheeeeeee miiiiiiiiiiight get reeeeeeiiiiiinnnncarrrrrnateeeeeed! Woooooooooo!

Enough of that. This chapter is a blip of fun for whoever decides to read it. Review if you like (I'm not forcing you into anything, but reviews do make me happy, so leave me a note).

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of 'Inuyasha', sadly. I do not own the band the Knack, happily. I do not own the rights to the song 'My Sharona' by the Knack (haha that's a funny word. Knack knack knack). They are old and icky and broken up by now. I do, however, own a printed out sheet of the lyrics to 'My Sharona', which will probably get buried in the stuff on my desk and I'll find them in a few years and be like "WHAT?" I also own 3 regular sharpies, 1 'extra fine point' sharpie, an origami page-a-day calendar (today I learned how to make an origami elephant), a moody cd burner, a PDC photo, and a burning lurve for this guy at my church. I wish I owned _him_. sighs

So, here it is. 'My Sharona'. By me, with the help of this old cd that the bank sent us around Christmas (it's full of symphony orchestra stuff and makes me want to leap around in Sleeping Beauty's ball gown), along with the memories of one afternoon with my friends, a pair of iPod speakers, Susan's dad's old cd collection, and the Knack. Knack knack knack.

"Oof! Oh, CRAP! OH NO NO NO NO NO!" yelled Kagome upon return to the Feudal Era. The well was getting decidedly more and more temperamental between trips back and forth. Kagome had just come flying out of the well and skidded 20 feet before coming to a stop at the base of a giant oak tree. Her big yellow backpack was squished between her and the tree. Luckily, it kept her from breaking any bones, but Kagome was more worried about the contents of the bag than about possible breakages. Kagome was just tugging on the various straps, zippers, and buttons of the bag when she heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet behind her. "Santa?" she asked, turning, before she was slammed back into the poor tree and beleaguered backpack. "Kyaaaaah! Kagome! You're back!" screeched the tiny fuzzball into her stomach. "Oh, it's you, Shippo. Gah! No, not again!" she yelped, realizing that she was sitting on her bag and causing more damage to its contents, thereby tossing Shippo off her stomach. "Ow, Kagome. That hurt," he moaned, clutching his head. "Oh good!" Kagome said, rummaging through her bag, "The chocolate broke the fall." She started pulling bars of chocolate out of her bag, handing them to Shippo, who cuddled each one to make sure they were okay. Kagome then lifted a small rectangular box out of her bag, checking it all over to make sure that it wasn't cracked. "Hooray! It lives!" she cried. "What is that thing, Kagome? Is it more chocolate?" Shippo asked curiously. "No, Shippo, it's called an iPod, and it holds music inside it. All my favorite songs are on it so that I can listen to them whenever I want." But Shippo was gone, leaving a trail of chocolate wrappers on his way back to Kaede's hut.

Kagome gathered up her bag and started on the way back to the hut, picking up wrappers as she went. She stuck in the iPod earphones and turned up 'Yeah!' by Usher. It wasn't long till she was belting out lyrics and jumping around on the path, shaking her rear at trees and dancing really badly (a/n: picture what you look like when you dance around in your room. Come on, you know you do it too). What with the high volume level that was really necessary for that type of song, and what with her yelling of the lyrics, she never heard Miroku run up to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and proceeded to 'shake the demon out'. That didn't really work, but it did make the stupid earbuds fall out of her ears. Kagome looked up at Miroku, startled, while he kept his eyes closed and muttered spells at her. "Miroku! What's wrong with you! Stop! Stop! Stop!" she yelled at him. He looked down at her, surprised that it took so little to make the demon leave, and then noticed that he could still hear the monster's song. He looked quickly around, gathering Kagome to his chest, and said "Shh…it's around here somewhere…I can hear it." Kagome got quiet very fast, enjoying the feel of Miroku's lovely warm chest, and listened with him for the monster. The forest was quiet except for a faint "Yeah, yeah, yeah" coming from the iPod. Kagome slid her hand out of Miroku's death grip, down his chest, and into her pocket where she spun the volume down to mute. Miroku pulled away from her quickly while she wound the earbud cord around the iPod.

"Drop it, Kagome! I'll kill your pocket monster!" he yelled, while unwrapping his palm.

"Pocket…monster? What pocket monster?" she asked, looking around.

"That one! The one that was just in your pocket! The one with two tails!" he yelled, bordering on hysteria.

"No, Miroku! You've got it wrong! This is an iPod; a magical box from the future. It holds all my favorite songs inside it and you stick the earbuds in your ears and you can hear the music. Plus, only my brother owns Pokemon," she explained to the panicked monk.

"It's not a monster? Oh, good," he said, rewrapping his hand. Kagome stuck an earbud in one of Miroku's ears and kept the other for herself while scrolling down through playlists. She got down to 'Yellow Submarine', figured what the hell, turned up the volume, grabbed Miroku's hand, and set off to Kaede's hut. Miroku was slightly startled at first by the music, but he got used to it and by the time they reached the hut both he and Kagome were belting out "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, yellow submarine…"

Sango and Shippo sweatdropped at the sight of Kagome and Miroku frolicking up the path. Sango started edging closer to her boomerang, while Shippo shifted his chocolate into a more easily defended pile. Kagome and Miroku noticed Sango and Shippo eyeing them warily, got a kick out of that, and finished up the song by acting out as sailors and ending with a twirl. This was all quite surprising to Kagome, since there was really no way for Miroku to know what a submarine was. Kagome pulled hers and Miroku's earbuds out, smacked Miroku's hand when he tried to take his back, wrapped the iPod up, and stuck it back in her bag before walking over to Sango. When Sango made no motion to welcome Kagome and just continued to stare glassy-eyed at where Kagome and Miroku's singing-and-dancing troupe had arrived, Kagome started to worry. She waved her hand slowly in front of Sango's eyes and then poked her in the arm. Sango tipped over.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! She's frozen! Look what you did!" yelled Shippo and Miroku. Shippo helpfully started running around in frenzied circles, while Miroku became distracted by Kagome's undies when she bent over to make sure Sango wasn't faking. He was just reaching out for a healthy grope when Kagome spun around, smacking him in the face while grabbing for the previously unnoticed and helpfully placed water pitcher. (a/n: it really hadn't been there the whole time. As author, I can exercise my right to use magical powers and I made it appear just for this part of the story. It'll disappear once Kagome finishes with it). Kagome picked up the full pitcher, saying "This always works in the movies!", at the same time a very naughty thought popped into his head. A mental battle immediately ensued, with arguments such as 'hey, wait, she'll beat me up. And that's kinda sexy' as well as 'and who knows if the author will ever provide me with another convenient water pitcher?' (a/n: I might. It all depends on how I'm feeling as I write). So the battle was easily won since there really wasn't any opposition and Miroku reached up when Kagome was turned around and tipped the whole pitcher down Kagome's shirt front. 'Oh thank you god!' was the last thought in Miroku's mind before Kagome threw the pitcher at his head and he fell over, twitching.

Kagome searched around for the pitcher, but it had disappeared. (a/n: mwahaha I love my magical powers). She straightened up, looked around for Shippo, saw that he had passed out from running in circles so much, sighed, scratched her knee, kicked Miroku, and plopped down next to her bag. Everyone was still breathing and that's what mattered most. She dug around in her bag for a Twinkie and lay back on the grass to munch it. Suddenly, she realized two things that she hadn't thought of before. First of all, it was really boring just lying on the grass. Second of all, she didn't even like Twinkies. Kagome sprang to her feet, tossing the Twinkie at Miroku's comatose body, and began pacing to figure out what to do to wake Sango up. In her rush to jump to her feet, she tipped her bag over onto its side. One object slid out of the bag: her iPod. Kagome suddenly got a devious idea. "Mwahahahaha! This is what happens when you pass out around me!" she muttered as she began scrolling through the playlists until she found what she was looking for.

"Oh, Kagome, you are SO evil," she whispered as she crept over to where Sango lay sprawled (a/n: I guess it's kind of stupid for someone to be creeping up on someone who's passed out, but Kagome's a little hyper today. She must've drunk too much Sunkist before she left home or something). Kagome knelt behind Sango's head and carefully inserted the earbuds into Sango's ears. She clicked the iPod on. And then she did one of the evilest things in the world. Kagome turned the volume WAY up on 'the Macarena'. It was so loud that Sango not only woke up, she jumped four feet in the air in sheer reflex. It was so loud that Shippo flew out of the hole he had inadvertently dug and then started bouncing around on the ground to the vibrations. It was so loud that Rin and Jaken heard it miles away (whilst picking wildflowers in a wheat field) and immediately started dancing. Kagome had been knocked backward first by the volume and then again by the sheer hideousness of the song. Sango started running around the clearing, clawing at her ears and dragging the iPod by its cord. "My baby!" Kagome shrieked, chasing after Sango. "Pppleeeaaaase mmmmmaaakkke ittt stttooopppp!" Shippo moaned, unable to get a grip on the ground.

Suddenly a white blur streaked out of the forest, grabbed Sango around the middle, and knocked her back down onto the ground. Kagome had taken a running leap just as Inuyasha sped out of the trees and managed to snatch the iPod in midair before curling herself around it and rolling like an armadillo down the nearest hill. After checking to see that the iPod was still undamaged, she brushed herself off, cracked her knuckles, and made her way back to everyone else. Trudging uphill, she saw Sango sprawled on the ground, but at least not passed out again. Inuyasha was rolling back and forth clutching his ears moaning "Make the noise stop…make it stop make it stop makeitstopstopstop…". Shippo was clinging to a tree branch, shivering. As Kagome made it to the top of the hill, he lost his grip and dropped ten feet into the fire pit (a/n: no, there's currently no fire, although that is a tempting thought) and lay there in the ashes, ashen-faced. Miroku lay undisturbed where Kagome had knocked him down. The door to the hut creaked open and Kaede came out, clutching her rum bottle and waving her cane. She weaved around the scene, chugged some rum, whistled the Macarena in a very off-key fashion, shook her old creaky hips, and patted Kagome on the bottom (a/n: she also whispered 'hello, sailor' at Kagome's left shoulder while patting) and weaved back into the hut, closing the door behind her. Far away in their wheat field, Rin and Jaken protested the song's sudden end and went back to picking their wildflowers.

Kagome went over to Inuyasha, stared at him for a little bit, then decided he'd eventually realize the song was over. She picked up Shippo from the fire pit, shook him off, and handed him some chocolate as a diversion from his mishaps. He happily started munching and looked the same as he normally does (a/n: by normal, I mean that he looked like a psycho homicidal dust bunny). Kagome walked over to Sango, who was sitting up and shaking her head to one side like she had water in her ears.

"Sango, it looks like you've got water in your ears," Kagome said.

"What?" Sango asked.

"I said, you look pretty funny trying to get the water that isn't in your ears out," Kagome laughed.

"What?" Sango asked.

By this point, Kagome realized that something was a little wrong.

"Hey Sango, I heard all about what you and Miroku did last night. That whole obsession-with-revenge-for-your-brother's-murder thing was a pretty good cover for your now-obvious desire for that hot monk," Kagome said, concentrating on Sango's face.

"What? I can't hear what you're saying over that music," Sango said.

"OHMYGOD I MADE SANGO DEAF! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!" Kagome exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands in horror.

At this point, Inuyasha realized that the Macarena had ended, so he looked around to see what was going on. Fox-thing eating chocolate. Check. Knocked-out monk. Check. Kagome freaking out. Check. Confused look on Sango's face. Eh? Sango never got confused. She was the one who kept everyone together, by making sure that Miroku never actually got past second base with an innocent village girl or making sure that Kaede always had her "happy bottle friend".

"What's going on with Sango, Kagome?" he asked.

"Gah! She's deaf! I only meant to wake her up and look what I've done!" Kagome cried, sinking to the ground across from Sango, grabbing her shoulders, and shaking her. Sango patiently waited until Kagome loosened the death grip and then pried herself away.

"If you'd just turn down the music, I'd be able to hear what you're saying, Kagome," Sango explained.

"Music? OH GOD, IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! I MADE HER DEAF TO THE REAL WORLD AND SHE'S GOING TO HEAR AN ENDLESS LOOP OF THE MACARENA FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE! OH NO NO NO!" Kagome cried, falling onto the ground next to Sango.

"How'd this all happen anyways? I was out in the woods, patrolling, (a/n: that's what he tells her. We all know that he's really fishing in the hot springs), when I heard the most horrible noise coming from here. I also heard screaming so I headed over, thinking someone might be in danger. Clearly, I was too late to help and was overpowered by the devil music, if we can even call it that," Inuyasha said, shaking his head sadly.

So Kagome explained the whole story, omitting the skipping-through-the-woods-with-Miroku bit because the author doesn't want poor Miroku getting beat up when he can't enjoy it properly. Inuyasha nodded, thought for a bit, and sat down to stare into the non-existant flames of the fire pit. Kaede opened the door to yell, "You're a BAD gopher!", and then slam the door back again.

"I've got it!" Inuyasha exclaimed suddenly, jumping up and accidentally knocking Shippo over. Shippo just continued eating. "You got her into this by playing music really loudly, so why not play something else really loudly? It might knock her back into normal hearing!"

"Hey, I guess it couldn't hurt," shrugged Kagome. (a/n: oh yes it could)

But as she turned to get the iPod, she saw that it was not sitting on the boulder next to her bag (a/n: oh. I forgot to say where she put it. It was on the boulder next to her bag. Don't worry, gentle readers; I've gotcha covered. winks). She looked all around the bag. She looked in the bag. She looked around the rock.

"Inuyasha, it's not here! All I could find was this piece of paper that has some words on it. Oh, this is funny. When you read the words all together, it says 'I've taken your magical source of power. You can run and I can hide. I'm going to rule the world thanks to you. So, thanks-Sesshomaru'. Oh, wait, this isn't funny. This is kind of bad…" Kagome trailed off, looking up at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha was currently bent over Miroku's body, poking him in the side.

"Um, Kagome, I think we've got more to worry about than your music box. I think Miroku's dead…" Inuyasha said worriedly.

TO BE CONTINUED! Is Miroku really dead? Will Sango ever get her hearing back? Will Sesshomaru ever figure out how to work the iPod? (Because those things are tricky little buggers). Will Rin and Jaken get to Sesshy's castle in time to get those wildflowers in water before they wilt? The answers to these and many more questions in the next chappie!


	2. Man, I Feel Like A Woman

Alrighty, well I'm back. As there are currently no reviews, I don't have any responses to them, being as there aren't any to respond to. Also, if there are any suggestions for me, just send me a review. I'm like Burger King; I have it your way.

Oh, and I realized that there were no references to 'My Sharona' in the last chapter. Don't worry, there will be some later. Just hang on to your hats.

So shall we return to the story? Okay. I'm totally amenable to that plan.

When we left the story, Kagome and Inuyasha were clustered around Miroku's comatose body. Shippo was maniacally gnawing a Hershey bar; Sango was wandering around aimlessly; Kaede was playing drinking games with herself. All would seem normal to the average spectator.

However, all was far from normal. Sesshomaru was currently striding through the forest with Kagome's iPod in his pocket. He had no idea just what it was, but apparently it had enough destructive power to sufficiently disable our heroes, so just imagine the power Sesshy could wield with it! Mwahahaha!

'Hee, hee, I'm so evil," giggled Sesshomaru as he made his way back to his castle to properly investigate the little white box.

Sesshomaru made it back home at the same time Rin and Jaken came sprinting around the corner of the wall with armfuls of wildflowers (and a few frondy bits of wheat), and burst into the doorway right before Sesshy. "Gotta get some water, Gotta get some water!" they yelled in explanation. Sesshy could only tell it was Rin and Jaken by Jaken's telltale odor. "Ew," Sesshy muttered, pulling out his handy-dandy travel can of Axe and spraying it liberally in the direction which Jaken had run.

Sesshy made his way up the stairs (a/n: after hanging his boa/"tail" on the hook by the front door), so focused on his new treasure that he didn't notice that the staircase was shifting away from the wall to connect with a doorway on the other side of the stairwell. He didn't notice the tapestry in which a psycho British knight challenged him to a duel. However, he did notice when he walked through John Cleese's ghost.

"Watch where you're bloody going!" John Cleese said, putting his head back on straight as he floated down the stairs.

"What the hell?" Sesshy asked. He looked around at the castle and gaped. Fancy wood interiors, moving portraits on the walls, shifting staircases…this wasn't his castle….

Meanwhile, in England, Harry Potter woke up in Sesshy's bed, looked around, and said, "What the bloody hell?" at almost exactly the same time as Sesshy. Harry noticed that all his roommates were also in bed with him (a/n: Ron and Neville looked quite cozy all nestled together). Harry crawled around them and got out of the bed, looking around. This wasn't Hogwarts….

But that's another story. After sitting on the stairs for several minutes, Sesshy got tired of swinging all over the place as the ADD stairs took him wherever they pleased. He ran up to the top of them and got off at the nearest doorway. He had no idea what had happened to his castle, but he could take care of that later. There was a magical box to ponder for now. He walked down the hallway, searching for a room that would have a lovely armchair in it to snuggle in. Oh, how Sesshy loved snuggling! He was really just quite misunderstood by all the other demons.

'It's like the sherbert lemon incident,' he said, musing sadly on a past incident when he was forced to prove that he could be a strong manly demon and kill people. (a/n: much as it tried to get back into business, the little ice cream shoppe that Sesshy's schoolmates dared him to torch never received many customers ever again.).

Suddenly, the golden statue thing Sesshy had just walked past started rotating and a stairwell appeared. 'I think I'll walk up there,' Sesshy thought. So he did. He came to a cozy room with a lovely armchair next to a roaring fire. However, as he walked through the door, all the portraits on the walls started yelling at him with snobby British accents and the pretty birdy in the gold cage caught fire.

"Cool, a phoenix! You can be my friend! I'll name you Melvin!" Sesshy exclaimed, cuddling the ugly baby phoenix in his robes. However, Sesshy and Melvin's newfound peace and happiness was soon disturbed by the bellowing portraits. "This is a problem easily solved," Sesshy said. Over the next four hours, he and Melvin bonded while tossing the portraits onto the fire and listening to the agonized screams.

Once the portraits were nothing but a noisy memory, Sesshy set Melvin on a cushion made of his outer kimono robes and dragged the armchair over to the monstrous desk. He took the iPod out of his pocket and placed it in the middle of the desk. He stared at it for a little bit, caught up in the shiny loveliness. He turned the iPod over and checked his makeup in the reflection of the shiny silver back panel. He unwound the long cord and examined the twin tails. After deciding that nothing was going to bite him with pointy teeth, he poked the button in the middle of the box. Nothing happened. He poked it again. Nothing. He began poking all over the iPod to see how it worked. Nothing. It was impenetrable! Sesshy kept poking and poking and eventually the little screen lit up on the front. Sesshy jumped but then bent in to investigate. As he bent in, he heard sounds coming from the tails of the box. He picked up the tails and held them closer to his ears in order to hear better.

"Oh, God no, not that horrible song!" he yelled, tossing the tails away. He poked at the box again, but missed the button and accidentally hit part of the circle around the center button instead. The words on the screen changed and Sesshy poked the circle again.

"Ooh, spinny!" Sesshy cried, as he began spinning the circle around and around and around (a/n: hey, sorta like that song 'you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right right round round'. Ooh, I like that song!). Little did he know that he was scrolling through songs. He poked the button with a triangle on it randomly. Suddenly, the sounds coming from the tails changed. Sesshy picked them up and warily brought them back to his ears again. Deciding he liked the catchy tune, he also discovered that it was possible to wedge the tiny earbuds into his ear-holes. Why, the song was just SO fun, he had to get up and dance! And when it ended, Sesshy realized that it was really simple to make the box play the song again! And again! By the end of the night, Sesshy had memorized all the lyrics and choreographed a dance (complete with shimmy, booty waggle, and leaping) to Shania Twain's hit song 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman'.

But while these discoveries were occurring at Sesshy's new castle of Hogwarts, dire things were happening back in the clearing near Kaede's hut. Kaede had run out of rum and her still was broken. So Kagome and Inuyasha had to high-tail it out of there, carrying Miroku and Shippo, while Sango followed confusedly. (a/n: Kagome had tried to mime what was going on, but Sango misinterpreted the message as 'come this way, but be quiet since you have become a raccoon and we must swim to safety'). An hour later, Kagome and Inuyasha tiredly chose a campsite a few miles away from Kaede.

"Next time, Inuyasha, YOU get to carry Miroku. He can't be dead. He was groping me in his sleep," Kagome said.

"Yeah, that really makes me WANT to carry him. And Shippo's a hard enough load," Inuyasha retaliated. Shippo was apparently more damaged by the Macarena effects than they had first supposed. He hadn't said a word since the ordeal and had turned to chocolate for solace. So even though Shippo himself weighed approximately 5 pounds, there were also 40 pounds of chocolate to deal with. Sango sat down by Shippo and kept quiet. Meanwhile, Kagome and Inuyasha were planning on what to do to wake Miroku up properly, since his hands were clutching at empty air and he was muttering naughty phrases to himself. They finally decided on rolling him down a hill and, if that didn't work, dunking him in the river until he woke up.

So Inuyasha lined Miroku up at the top of a hill while Kagome waded her way out to a quiet part of the river to wait for him. After getting the okay from Kagome, Inuyasha shoved Miroku down the hill. It was quite a spectacular roll, somewhat like a ski jump. Miroku rolled for a bit, gathering momentum, hit a sloped rock, and flew into the air in a mass of shaggy black hair and purple robes. He hit the ground just before the riverbank, where Kagome caught him and pulled him into the water. She had had lots of practice dunking her little brother in the pool back home, so it only took 3 or 4 dunks before Miroku was sputtering and thrashing. However, when he realized that it was Kagome who held him, he reached out to dunk her too.

Before long, both of them were soaked and laughing. It was then that Miroku decided to follow his lecherous initiative and kiss Kagome. Kagome had swallowed a little too much river water and was in no position to object to Miroku's delightful warm mouth so she started kissing him back. Inuyasha couldn't really tell what was going on in the river, so he started throwing rocks at the couple. They broke apart and looked at each other. Kagome looked a little stunned and Miroku just winked at her before yelling at Inuyasha to stop throwing rocks. Yelling didn't work. So Miroku threw some rocks back at Inuyasha. And thus the great rock fight began. It wasn't until Inuyasha rolled a boulder down at Miroku and almost drowned him that Kagome interceded.

Kagome and Miroku made their soggy way back up the hill, where Kagome made Inuyasha apologize for throwing rocks. He apologized (a/n: after Kagome threatened to take away the ramen), and the three of them returned to the campsite. Sango leaped up to greet them.

"Let me show you this dance! It came to me while I was sitting here listening to the music," she said happily. Sango proceeded to wait a couple of beats before sticking her arms out in front of her, one by one, then flipping them over, one by one, then crossing them over her chest, one by one, then behind her head…and so on (a/n: you know how it goes). She did this dance over and over, jump/turning sideways every time she finished one set of the dance. Kagome started shaking her head in amazement. Miroku went goggle-eyed.

"You are so unbelievably hot when you dance like that, Sango," he told her.

"My mother was a saint!" she exclaimed angrily, slapping his face and retreating to where she had left Shippo. Kagome picked Miroku up, quickly explaining that Sango had gone deaf and that you had to mime whatever you said to her, because she was very good at misinterpreting things. Miroku nodded.

At this point, the author began to get a crick in her neck and her wrists were sore from typing for so long, so the chapter came to a sudden end. Once the pain goes away, the story will come back.


	3. Hypersomnolence?

HOORAY! I'm back! It took me a while to come up with what should go on in this chapter; the last two were written while on a jellybean high and now I'm all out of jellybeans. So I got the next best thing; old Easter bunnies. I found them nesting in the back of the pantry yesterday and decided to munch. For although it would be nice to have a little chocolate bunny family living in the pantry, I figure that if the bunnies get to do it, but I can't, then NOBODY can. Meh, so I'm a little greedy. I'm allowed to be; it's 9:30 on a Saturday morning.

Anyhoo, yay for reviewers! I lurve you all SO SO SO much! Y'all are super-chouette! (That means 'super cool' in French. Go tell people that. It's fun). So here are my responses to y'all:

You know where I sleep: first off, that's SUCH a sketchy name. Like, it's true and all, but still….weird…and you don't get to play drunken sailor with anyone. That's just me and Jane and Majubaleg and Grik. Worry not, we'll find you a drunken sailor to play with eventually.

Cantthinkofaname: Thankee, dahling! I've been playing around with the Sesshy-dances-to-man-i-feel-like-a-woman theme for a really long time now. I was just going to make a whole songfic based upon that idea, but I couldn't think of enough stuff to happen along with that, so I just stuck the idea in here. I'm glad you liked it!

Bazooie: You get an armful of yummy cookies for sending me the longest reviews! Enjoy! And I've always pictured Kaede as a drunk. I had to go onto an Inuyasha website in order to find out what her real name is; I've just always thought of her as "the ugly old drunk one". Yeah, I couldn't bring myself to kill off Miroku. I lurve him too much. And much as you wish he was in your backyard, he isn't. He's tied to the poles of my bed. Mwahahaha. And, hey, do you understand the chemistry homework? Because I've been staring at it for minutes on end and I have no idea what she's going on about with the hydrogen ions and such…

Queen izzy: Thanks! I love hearing that I was able to make people laugh really hard; it makes me happy :D

Kilikthemonk: Who is Kilik? Should I know him? Is he hot? And maybe I SHOULD make this a book…that'd be kinda cool…and don't worry, here is chapter 3!

Yahikoinuhanyou: Thankee! Here are some yummy cookies for you too!

Alrighty. That's all done now. I can't believe how many of y'all have names with all the words smushed together. It really bothers Microsoft Word…Ooh, I just got this sudden chill all over and now I'm covered in goosebumps. And I can't go put on my lovely warm sweatshirt because it still smells like Chattahoochee river water so I'll have to just wrap up in my Hello Kitty blankie. Sorry if this makes NO sense to any of y'all…Brrr….

Alright, here's my favorite song of the day: 'Learning How to Smile' by Everclear. I'm listening to it right now. I just lurve it soooooo much!

Okay, okay, here's the chapter. Chapter 3, by me, with the help of Everclear's lovely melodies and nummy voices.

When we left the story, the author (a/n: me) had a giant crick in her neck. Sango had once again misinterpreted someone, and had slapped Miroku, once again. Shippo was nervously munching chocolate, Inuyasha was trying to open a ramen packet, Kaede was mumbling 'Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum' to herself, Sesshy was putting on men's shirts and short skirts, and Rin and Jaken were unsuccessfully trying to tell some house-elves that they needed several vases and some water.

Unfortunately, the house-elves thought that Jaken was one of their own, and dragged him off into the bowels of Hogwarts (a/n: hahaha 'bowels' hahaha THE BUNNIES MADE ME DO IT). It was there that they stripped him, dunked him in sunflower oil, castrated him, and dressed him. Since he was a rookie, Jaken had to make do with a pot holder for clothes. With luck, he would move up to tea-towel status in a few years. Rin soon forgot Jaken because of her short-term memory loss, but that didn't matter too much because Jaken smelled really bad.

Rin never did get that vase she was looking for, sadly. The house-elves were getting clingy too, picking at the hem of her clothes and muttering "My precioussssss", so Rin kicked at them, yelled "You killed my father!" at them, and sprinted in the opposite direction with her bouquet. She ran for quite some time (a/n: mostly in circles), but eventually came to a door that read "Girl's Bathroom". "Water!" Rin yelped, bursting in the door. And that's how Rin met Moaning Myrtle. The End. (a/n: no, no, jk, jk)

"Ooh, where's my Harry?" Myrtle moaned, rising up out of the U-bend.

"Um, he sent you flowers?" Rin answered, throwing the bouquet at Myrtle and turning to run out the door. But one little thought popped into her head that made her turn back to Myrtle.

"You were in the Bridget Jones' Diary movies, weren't you? I'd recognize your voice anywhere!" Rin exclaimed. Rin was a huge Bridget Jones fan, although she always thought that Bridget should have tried to reform Hugh Grant instead of taking the easy way out with the guy who played Mr. Darcy in the 'Pride and Prejudice' movies.

"Uh, no, no, that wasn't me…" Myrtle said, blushing and hugging her bouquet and trying to look like she was telling the truth.

"Yes it was! It was you! You were Bridget's friend! I forget your name, but you were always there when Bridget was at the bar with her friends!" Rin said, jumping up and down in her excitement.

"Oh, okay, you got me," Myrtle said, "but I swear I never made out with Hugh Grant off-camera."

"OHMYGOD you did WHAT! I'm sooooo jealous of you!" Rin squealed, running up to Myrtle's stall. "What was it like? Is he really that gorgeous up close?"

And thence began one of the greatest, yet weirdest, friendships in history. Rin and Myrtle sat in the bathroom telling stories about Hugh Grant ("Believe me, he's an amazing kisser, but he's really arrogant") and Jaken ("Ewwwww!"), ignoring the fact that Rin was 8 and Myrtle had been dead for 50 years.

But over in the forest, trouble was brewing. Inuyasha finally got the ramen packet open, after much straining and biting and sweating and cussing. However, he soon became very protective of the contents and wouldn't share, forcing Kagome, Miroku, and Sango to divide some jerky strips between themselves. Shippo had finally bloated himself to sleep on the chocolate and lay near the fire, rolling about nervously in the fetal position and muttering. Eventually, stuffed with jerky, Kagome, Sango, and Miroku went to their respective sleeping bags and fell asleep. Kagome and Sango were each woken up several times in the night by someone trying to snuggle into their bags, but they each carried a beating stick and Miroku finally went back to his lonely cold sleeping bag. Inuyasha, of course, was up sleeping in a tree, curled around a branch like some creature that curls around tree branches.

Kagome was woken up the next morning by the rustling noises Sango made as she did the Macarena in her sleep. Unable to drift off again, since Sango was beginning to whisper "Heeeeeeeeey, Macarena" in her sleep, Kagome got up, looked for her normal clothes, saw that Miroku was cuddling her school skirt in his sleep, screamed a little on the inside, and dug around in her bag for some shorts. Once out of her jammies and into a t-shirt and flip-flops, she began digging around in her bag for some breakfast. Deciding that Gushers were as good a breakfast as any, she ripped open a pack and began nibbling. She then went over to stand next to Miroku to figure out how to get her skirt back from him. The last time he did this, he had a death grip on it and tore the waistband. She finally decided on tickling him so that his grip would loosen and she could snatch the skirt back with hopefully only minor damage to it. Kagome knelt down by Miroku's side and started tickling his neck with her fingertips. Twitch. 'Hmmm…' thought Kagome. She tried tickling under his arm. Twitch, but no cigar. She knew for a fact that Miroku was incredibly ticklish along his ribs and behind his knees, but to get there, she would have to unzip the sleeping bag, which would risk Miroku waking up and then she'd NEVER get the skirt back.

"Stupid height advantage," Kagome whispered to herself as she slowly began unzipping the sleeping bag. Twitch, but Kagome didn't notice. "GAH!" she yelped, as Miroku flipped over, pinning her underneath him.

"Hey, I missed you too, darling" he said before kissing her thoroughly (a/n: and then some, nudge nudge). Unable to squirm away, Kagome gave up on escaping and returned the kiss. She was just beginning to get all soft and melty as he ground his hips into her in the most delightful way, when they both heard a noise from the other side of the fire. Shippo had woken up and was staring wide-eyed at the two of them, slowly munching a chocolate bar.

"You'll corrupt him!" Kagome yelled, taking advantage of Miroku's distraction to wiggle away with her skirt.

"Me? You started it by crawling into my sleeping bag!" he retaliated, still half-asleep.

"I did NOT! I was just trying to get my skirt back!" she told him, chucking a rock at his head and barely missing.

"Kagome, can I have some Gushers?" Shippo asked. However, Kagome ignored Shippo in order to find another good throwing rock. Shippo took advantage of this to go rootle through Kagome's backpack. Not finding a rock, Kagome settled for leaping on him and beating him into compliance. Doubtless, this gave Miroku more pleasure than pain, but Kagome didn't notice till he was unconscious.

"Ack!" She shouted, leaping off him. She decided to wake up Sango who had, thankfully, slept through everything, what with being deaf and all that. While Sango was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Kagome picked Shippo out of her bag by the tail and dropped him by the fire to eat his Gushers. She then noticed that someone was missing. Where was Inuyasha?

"Inuyashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" she bellowed. Inuyasha tumbled out of his tree in a bundle of robes and hit the ground with a loud thump. Miroku woke up, looking dazed but happy, as Kagome headed over to Inuyasha's body. She poked it with a stick. She nudged it. He was still breathing, but that fall should have woken him up. He lay curled on the ground, snoring.

"Hey, Miroku, get over here" Kagome said worriedly. She knelt by Inuyasha's head and pushed his hair out of his eyes. She petted his ears. He purred and kept on snoring.

"Is it a spell?" Kagome asked, "I've never seen him like this before."

"No, it's not a spell, Kagome. He's probably just sleepy," Miroku said.

"But we need to wake him up so that we can go get my iPod back from Sesshy!" Kagome said. And so, the two of them set to trying to wake Inuyasha up. They poked and prodded, dumped water on his head, tickled his feet, to no avail. It wasn't till Shippo came over and sat on Inuyasha's chest and stared at Inuyasha that Inuyasha finally woke up.

"Wow, do you have magical mind powers, Shippo?" Miroku asked.

"No, I just used the power of annoyance," Shippo said smugly.

"Wha? Go 'way, I'm sleepy" Inuyasha muttered.

"NO!" Kagome and Miroku yelled, grabbing Inuyasha's robes and shaking him to keep him awake. However, Inuyasha's will was stronger than they had expected and he slipped back off to sleep.

"I know! Ramen!" Kagome said happily. She brewed a pot of ramen up and brought it to Inuyasha, waving the pot under his nose to wake him up.

"Mnunh," Inuyasha said, rolling away from the pot and snoring louder. Kagome and Miroku looked at each other helplessly over Inuyasha's body. This was bad.

Half an hour and one pot of ramen later, Sango had resumed dancing, Shippo was still eating Gushers, and Kagome was getting desperate.

"Well, the way I see it is that three things could have happened to him," Miroku said from where he lay on his back in the grass, licking the ramen spoon. "First off, this could be a spell that's just too strong for me to detect, which I doubt, because I'm just too cool for that. Secondly, he might be turning into a cat, which is evidenced in his excessive sleep habits and purring." Kagome rolled her eyes at the first suggestion and just gaped at the second one.

"Um, is it even possible for a dog demon to turn into a cat demon?" she asked.

"Well, anything's possible, Kagome. And, remember, he's not really a dog demon. He's only a hanyou. I know that full dog demons can't turn into other types, but I'm not sure about hanyous," Miroku mused, staring at the ramen spoon curiously. "But what an insult THAT would be for him to turn from dog to cat. It'd be like a hamster turning into a piece of hamster food…"

"Uh…yeah…now, what's the third thing that could have happened?" Kagome asked.

"Well, the third thing is that he could have this condition called 'hypersomnolence', in which the patient becomes excessively lethargic and sleeps most of the time. There is no cure but time. Fatalities are rare, but they do occur," Miroku told Kagome.

"Oh, so it's either a spell, he's turning into a cat, or he'll die in his sleep," Kagome repeated, ticking the points off on her fingers. She and Miroku turned to each other simultaneously.

"Let's hope to God it's the cat one," they said seriously.

Alrighty, I'm getting a little hungry now, so I think I'll end the chapter there for now. But I'll be back soon to finish up the rest of my ideas once I get me some lunch, okies? Yay!


	4. He Still Feels Like a Woman

Eh, well it took me a little longer than I'd expected to get back to writing this. There were some…issues…that needed to get worked out. But the key part is that I'm back, I've got a copy of the messed-up remix version of 'Sandstorm' to keep me motivated, so here's the next chappie! Yay!

It wasn't until mid-afternoon of the next day that Sesshomaru finally emerged from Dumbledore's office, after finishing his makeover. He had slashed his kimono at mid-thigh length to make a miniskirt and had pulled his lovely long white hair up into a high ponytail. Having decided that his make-up looked fine the way he had it, he squeezed his toes into a pair of stilettos and sashayed down the hall.(a/n: to his joy, he had found a whole drawer full of women's shoes in Dumbledore's desk). The corridors echoed with "No inhibitions, make no conditions, get a little out of li-ine, I ain't gonna act politically correct, I only wanna have a good ti-ime".

Startled by Sesshy's 'singing', Rin and Myrtle cautiously poked their heads out of the bathroom door (a/n: Myrtle literally did poke her head out of the door, looking like a bizarre hunting trophy).

"What is that horrible noise?" Rin asked fearfully, "Are there other ghosts here?"

"Lots, but I've never heard this one before," Myrtle answered, "But that's not a ghost. It just fell down the stairs."

Rin and Myrtle quietly opened the door and snuck down the hallway so as to avoid getting the singer's attention. They tiptoed down to the landing that the singer tumbled from and looked down.

"Ooh! She's so pretty!" Rin exclaimed, "Look at her hair!"

The singer in question had regained 'her' feet, wobbling in place as she rubbed a stilettoed ankle cautiously. At Rin's exclamation, 'she' turned around curiously and shouted "Rin! Look at me! I'm pretty!"

"Sesshy?" Rin asked, "What have you done?"

"Well, I'll tell you, darlin'," he answered. 'Darlin'?' Rin mouthed at Myrtle, who shrugged.

Sesshy gathered him/herself up wobbily, and, striking a pose, belted out "Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction, color my hair, do what I dare, oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah to feel the way I feel, Man! I feel like a woman!" with gusto.

Rin and Myrtle went wide-eyed as Sesshy proceeded to shimmy down a banister, but slipped off as the stairway lurched in time to the music and tumbled to the next landing, where he lay sprawled in a mess of miniskirt, long razor-burned legs, and ponytail.

"Sesshy!" Rin cried, running down the stairs as fast as her little legs would carry her. She patted his face over and over while Myrtle flew over his body, trying to spook him out of his unconsciousness. Suddenly, a screech came from overhead. Rin didn't have time to turn and see what had made that horrible noise before Melvin/Fawkes swooped down and knocked her out of the way, perching on Sesshy's now-voluptuous chest (a/n: Sesshy had resorted to Kleenex. Little did he know that the small box buried beneath the thigh-high hooker boots in Dumbledore's drawer was full of a powder that guaranteed genuine C-cups for 24 hours to whoever drank it, no matter what gender. Dumbledore had confiscated it from Hermione a few weeks before and had been joyfully experimenting with it). Melvin bent down over Sesshy's face and began crying. After watching this go on for a couple of seconds, Rin got tired and shoved Melvin out of the way.

"You're ruining his makeup, stupid bird!" she cried.

"Grawkh!" Melvin squawked, flapping his feathers and looking very insulted.

"Look, Rin! That might be what made him act so funny," Myrtle said, pointing at the iPod, which had slid out of Sesshy's pocket when he landed at the bottom of the stairs.

"Ooh! Shiny!" Rin exclaimed, picking up the iPod and putting it in her own pocket (a/n: Rin's always reminded me of a raccoon. I don't know why.)

Rin and Myrtle eventually decided to drag Sesshy (a/n: hahaha they dragged a drag queen) off the staircases so that he didn't get squished when the stairs moved again. After making sure that he was still breathing, they left him to Melvin's care and ventured off to find some dinner for Rin and then to figure out what the iPod did. They found the kitchens 20 minutes later and pulled the bell, which chimed several bells in the tune of the 'Lumberjack Song". A house-elf jumped to attention from his post underneath a counter and woozily rubbed his eyes.

"Wha'?" he asked.

"Can we have some food?" Rin asked warily. It didn't look like the elf could even see her, let alone find some food. All of a sudden, a racket broke out behind the swinging doors leading to the kitchens. A memorable stench filled the air as a single knobbly green hand smacked the glass circle in the swinging door before several brown house-elf hands pulled it back down.

"Rin, is that you? Help help they're holding me captive!" yelled Jaken.

" 'Ang on a second then loves," said the house-elf, waking up completely, picking up a rifle from behind the counter and striding through the swinging doors. Rin and Myrtle heard one shot ring out from the kitchen and then everything went silent. They quickly sidled out of the waiting room and down the hall as fast as they could go.

"What do we do now?" Rin asked Myrtle breathlessly, "This place just isn't safe!"

Myrtle shrugged. "I haven't been out of that bathroom for the past 50 years, excepting the year I worked on 'Bridget Jones'. I can hardly remember my way around these halls."

"Well," Rin said decisively, "I know who can help us. My fiancé. Let's go."

"Fiance?" Myrtle asked, "you never said anything about a fiancé!"

"Shh…it's a secret. And Sesshy doesn't approve of inter-species relationships, so I've had to hide it," Rin said.

"Well, what's his name? Tell me ALL about him! I swear I won't tell Sesshy!" Myrtle exclaimed excitedly.

"Okay, well, his name's Shippo, and…"

Sorry that this is all I could get out for now. I've got the AP European History exam this Friday (the 6th) and I totally need to study some more and find out how long Catherine de Medici lived, because right now it seems like she's lived for 300 or so years. And then I need to figger out the differences between Calvinism and Lutheranism and Presbyterianism. Stupid Reformists….


	5. Numa Numa Yay!

Eh, well, tomorrow is my English exam and I'm not really in the mood for studying so I figure that a little bit of creative writing is in order, right? Many thanks to everyone who read and reviewed; reading all your comments really makes my day so much better! I lurve all of y'all!

Alright, at the point where we left off in the story, many occurrences were occurring. Rin and Myrtle had confiscated the iPod from a prone Sesshy, who lay in a heap of stilettos, miniskirt, and razorburn. Jaken was being held by the house-elves, and it is still up in the air as to whether or not he's dead. Sango's still dancing the Macarena, Shippo's still scarred, Miroku's still pervy, and Kagome has no idea what to do with Inuyasha, who's resisting all ramen in favor of sleep. That scenario sounds more interesting at the moment, so let's go there.

"So, what are we supposed to do with him since he's obviously not going to wake up? I really need to get that iPod back" Kagome asked Miroku, who was braiding Inuyasha's long white hair into tiny braids. Miroku was taking advantage of Inuyasha's lethargy to get away with things an awake Inuyasha would never permit.

"I think we should leave him here," Miroku said, tying off one braid with a loose thread from Inuyasha's coat.

"What! We can't just abandon him! And, Shippo, stop painting Inuyasha's toenails," Kagome exclaimed.

"No, Kagome, it's good for him. We need to get his mind off the s-o-n-g. And the fumes from your nail polish might just erase the scarring in his mind. Keep up the good work, little guy" Miroku said, patting Shippo on the head. "And we wouldn't be abandoning sleeping beauty here. We can just let Sango and Shippo watch him. I shall guard you on the trail. Shippo can take charge and make sure Sango doesn't accidentally kill him with her boomerang." Sango had begun to elaborate on the basic Macarena dance, including her boomerang and much leaping and bounding. As a result, many trees lay sprawled at odd angles from their stumps, several pots and pans were dented, and Inuyasha had been jumped upon twice.

"Are you sure that'd be a good idea? Like, my iPod is really important, but it'd be a lot of work for Shippo," Kagome mused uncomfortably.

"Kagome, Kagome, Kagome. My dear, it would be therapeutic for Shippo. He needs some responsibility, anyways" Miroku reassured her. Shippo stopped blowing on Inuyasha's toes to dry them and nodded.

"Come ON, Kagome! I can do it!" Shippo told her confidently, uncapping a vibrant shade of blue nail polish to go with the red base he had finished applying.

"Oh, well, okay, I guess…" Kagome said, picking up some of Inuyasha's stray hair and braiding it. Inuyasha snuzzled his head into the mossy ground, mumbling "It's in the pantry" before snoring again.

Three hours later, Kagome and Miroku were ready to go. They had repeatedly mimed that Sango needed to stay with Shippo and Inuyasha; half an hour later, she finally understood them. Shippo and Sango stood at the top of the hill to wave goodbye to Kagome and Miroku as they rode off on Kagome's bike.

"Ooh, I'm still not sure this was such a good idea, Miroku," Kagome said from her perch on the back of the bike. She had wrapped her arms around his waist the first time that they went over a bump on the hill; Miroku claimed that he knew exactly how to ride a bike and insisted on pedaling. Despite his inability to keep a straight course, they were making good time in the direction of Sesshy's castle.

"Of course it's a good idea. It was one of mine," he reminded her, swerving the bike around a hole in the road, nearly tipping both of them off in the process. Kagome moaned, closing her eyes and burying her face into Miroku's back as she clutched his waist even tighter.

Meanwhile, as our valiant heroes pedaled their way toward Hogwarts, Rin and Myrtle were camped a few miles away from the castle in some woods.

"Ugh, I'm so glad we're away from that madhouse," Myrtle said, stretching her arms above her head as she calmly floated near the tree branches.

"Yeah, it's really weird there. I can see why you've lived in a bathroom for 50 years. But I feel kind of bad leaving Sesshy all alone there. He's obviously confused and who knows what trouble he'll get into in that state of mind?" Rin pondered, leaning back against a tree trunk to look at the sky, "God, Myrtle, fly somewhere else. I can totally see up your skirt."

"So stop looking," Myrtle replied, but floated off to another tree across the clearing. "I'm sure your Sesshy will come back to whatever senses he had before that box affected him. Speaking of which, where is it?"

"Oh, it's right here," Rin said, pulling it out of her pocket. "I wonder how it works…?"

Myrtle floated down to where Rin was sitting and the two girls began poking at the iPod. Myrtle's pokes were, of course, ineffectual, since her fingers went straight through the iPod, but it's the thought that counts.

"Well, it's definitely not from this time. I haven't seen plastic since I went to the 20th century to work on that movie. Who do you know in this time that's from the future?" Myrtle asked, examining the iPod for an on/off switch.

"Oh! Then it's probably Kagome's! I guess that's where Sesshy went the other day when he told me to pick flowers with Jaken!" Rin paused, remembering what had happened to Jaken in the house-elves' kitchen. 'I wonder if they really did shoot him…' she thought. "And if we find Kagome, then we find Shippo! Yay!" she cried, jumping to her feet and doing a little dance.

"But wait, I still want to find out what that thing does!" Myrtle said, grabbing for the flailing cords. "Maybe it's a way to talk to people in the future!"

"Ooh, neat!" Rin squealed, plopping back down with the iPod. She began furiously poking at the buttons and eventually the screen lit up. "OOH! SHINY!" She yelled, holding the iPod closer to her face.

"Wait, let me see," Myrtle said, edging closer to look at the screen too. "Oh, Shania Twain? This must be for music then…but I don't hear anything…wait, be quiet for just two seconds," she said to Rin, whose eyes had gone round at the lights coming from the screen and was whimpering like the raccoon spirit she channeled from time to time.

Myrtle floated down the cords and held one to her ear (a/n: how is it that ghosts can hold stuff when they want to, but then they randomly go through stuff? This has always confused me from 'Harry Potter'). "Oh, here it is!"

Rin grabbed the other earbud and held it to her ear. "Hey it's the song Sesshy was singing! It sounds much better from this box!" Rin and Myrtle sat under the tree and listened until the end of the song. When the song started again, Myrtle grabbed the iPod from Rin, saying, "Wait, I wonder if it'll play anything else!" and began poking at more buttons. She finally discovered that the circle would spin and began scrolling through Kagome's extensive playlists.

"Okay, this song is on Kagome's top 25 songs list!" Myrtle said, clicking on the numa numa song (a/n: I think it's called 'Dragostea din Tei', right, bazooie?). "Ooh, this is a catchy beat!" Rin exclaimed as her feet began dancing against her will. Eventually, she and Myrtle were both dancing all over the clearing and "Hallo" and "Salut"-ing each other.

Five hours later, the battery on the iPod died.

And the curtain falls for now.


	6. Bad Santa

Hey again! Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out…I've been in a remote part of Denmark for the past 3 weeks with no laptop or computer access other than public libraries…but I'm back now! Thank you all for the great reviews and support! They make me all warm and fuzzy inside! It was so cool to find out that this story had made it into a C2 group. I never expected THAT to happen :D Here are some responses for those who reviewed:

Fluffys4evr: There are more chapters; but it's the typing them out that takes me a while…I'm a crappy typist. Thanks for reading!

Sesshomaru vs. Inuyasha: Is that how you spell Sesshy's name? There appear to be many variations on it. Oh, whatev, I'm over-obsessing. I'm so glad you like my story! I love it that I'm making people laugh!

Japanimeniac: omg, I LURVE your name!

Maddie: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Hehehehe, I'm glad you liked the fuzzy bunnies. And did your brother ever recover from the pixystick attack?

Brekke rider of gold Wirenth: Don't worry, Jaken got them into water in time.

Bazooie: Hey, it's alright. I got a 91 on the English exam. Woohoo! I'm actually listening to Dragostea Din Tei right now…mwahaha…and I have NO idea if foxes are colorblind. I think all animals are except for some birds. I heard that on a nature show. But it didn't say anything about foxes…hmm…And will you still pick up a hot guy for me? Because I tried my best to get this updated on time! And don't worry, Sesshy will return!

I Know Where You Sleep: Cool, I'm amazing? Cooly cool cool! Except I might not be as amazing as you say I am, since I totally unbalanced the washing machine a little while ago and it's half filled with water and I don't know what to do because it's growling at me and I really really don't want it to explode or something.

Stillcan'tthinkofaname: Thank you for agreeing with me on the raccoon point. There aren't many who agree with me there.

Alrighty, now if I missed anybody, please review and mention that I did and I will send a batch of telepathic cookies to you. And I DID really unbalance the washing machine and I'm hoping that ignoring it will make it better. Do any of you have any advice? HELP HELP HELP!

As a fun bonus type thing, here are some helpful Danish phrases in case you ever go to Denmark, meet someone who only speaks Danish, or just want to confuse your friends and family members.

Jeg er din kaereste (I'm his/her girl/boyfriend)

Han er den aegte vaer (He's the real thing)

Jeg arbejdder i bagelbutikken (I work at the bagel store)

Jeg spildte kaffe i bilen (I spilled coffee in your car)

Hvor pinligt(This is awkward)

Hvem er Daniel?(Who's Daniel?)

Vi spiller kroket(We're playing croquet)

Lavede Peter kyllingetarte?(Peter made a chicken pot pie?)

Han har en vis charme(He's got charm)

Der er kylling!(It's chicken!)

Skal vi danse?(Want to dance/Shall we dance?)

Tak, fordi do forstaar det(Thanks for understanding)

Jeg skal tisse(I need to pee)

Giv mig din skjorte(Give me your shirt)

Pokkers!(Dammit!)

Jeg laver noget the(I'll make some tea)

Det er utroligt(This is unbelievable)

Lad os pjaekke(Let's play hooky)

Det var min chef…(That was my boss…)

Hvad laver du her?(What're you doing here?)

Tillykike!(Congratulations!)

So use them well! And if there are any native Danish speakers out there who realize that I misspelled anything, I'm apologizing in advance. I was copying them off an English movie that had Danish subtitling and the subtitles were moving fast. But enjoy them anyways!

You know what's a REALLY hard computer game? Minesweeper. There's all this counting and remembering involved. It's a lot more than my summer brain (a/n: BRIAN!) can handle. But I can't back down from a challenge so I keep getting exploded. Pokkers.

So anyhooways, let's move on to the story! I think I've done enough procrastinating for today and I am now fortified with yummy cherry limeade.

Alrighty, so when the story last left off, Miroku and Kagome were valiantly riding (a/n: on the bike, you naughty-minded readers) towards Sesshy's new castle of Hogwarts, Sesshy was passed out on the stairs in drag, and the house elves haven't said whether or not Jaken was alive or not. They still won't acknowledge his presence. Myrtle and Rin had killed the batteries on the iPod by listening to 'Dragostea Din Tei' on repeat. And then, of course, Inuyasha was still asleep and being "guarded" by the still-deaf Sango and the scarred Shippo.

Dawn broke on the clearing slowly. Birds began chirping, trees rustled, and Inuyasha flopped over in his blankets lazily. Blinking his eyes, he realized that he felt better than he had in years. He stretched leisurely and yawned. Sitting up, he yawned again and looked around his campsite. Shippo was still asleep in his blankets, and Sango was humming in her sleep. Inuyasha got up and kicked Shippo in the ribs.

"Wake up, brat. Where're Kagome and Miroku?" he asked, huskily. 'Weird. I must've been sick or something…the voice is all screwy…' he thought.

"Aaaagh! Oh, you're awake!" Shippo yelped, "but what's wrong with your voice? And you have a fluffy tail. And you've got…ohmygod! Those ARE whiskers!"

"What? You're seeing things, brat. I don't have whiskers," Inuyasha scoffed.

"Uh, whatever you say, Inuyasha," Shippo said, jumping up and tweaking Inuyasha's new whiskers.

"OW!" Inuyasha yelled, "What the hell are these? Brat, what happened to me?". He picked up Shippo and shook him upside down while Shippo screeched "I dunno I dunno I dunno! You were asleep and stuff and now you're awake but you have whiskers and a fluffy tail!"

"Tail?" Inuyasha said, dropping Shippo and twisting around. Sure enough, a fluffy white tail was twitching around behind him. "TAIL?" he grabbed at his tail, but it evaded his grasp the more he chased it. Finally, Shippo reached out and snagged it.

"Ooh! It's all soft and pretty!" Shippo said, cuddling it to his face.

"Let go, you little…ooh, that feels nice!" Inuyasha purred. After a couple of seconds, Inuyasha realized the awkwardness of the situation and yanked his tail out of Shippo's hands and held it protectively against his chest. "Don't touch my tail!" he said, pounding Shippo on the head.

"Gah! Ow ow ow!" Shippo yelled, covering his head and running over the the relative safety of Sango's blankets. Sango merely flipped him over and kept humming in her sleep. "Inuyasha, you PURRED!"

"I did NOT! Now, what's for breakfast?" Inuyasha said, avoiding his new problems and rummaging for breakfast. 3 bowls of ramen later, he was ready to face the world. And his tail.

"Now, Shippo, what's wrong with Sango? She's awake now, but she's dancing and won't respond and it looks like her left leg is cramping up," Inuyasha said. Sango had leaped across the clearing several times by now, and her left leg was definitely curling up onto itself, which looked rather painful.

"Don't you remember, Inuyasha? She got blasted with that horrible song and now she's deaf. We also think she might be mute, but that's only because she hasn't talked to anyone in days except to yell at Miroku. Although, that might be just a reflex," Shippo mused, still on the opposite side of the fire from Inuyasha.

"Ooookay…no, I don't remember that…and where are Kagome and Miroku?" Inuyasha asked concernedly.

"Um, they went off to Sesshy's castle to get Kagome's magic music box back before it gets broken. Miroku was also whispering something into Kagome's ear at the time and her face turned red, but I couldn't hear it. But they let me stay here and be in charge of the camp, because I'm a strong man!" Shippo puffed out his little chest. Inuyasha was unimpressed and threw a rock at Shippo, who ducked, letting the rock hit Sango, who yelped, then threw the rock back at Inuyasha, who got confused and was consequently hit by the rock.

"Okay, we're going after all of them after I finish with one last question. Which one of you painted my nails and braided my hair while I was sleeping?" Inuyasha asked menacingly.

"Uh, that was Miroku," Shippo replied shiftily. Luckily for him, Inuyasha didn't catch on and started licking the ramen off his hands. "Uh, Inuyasha?" Shippo asked. "Eh?" Inuyasha paused mid-lick, then glared at Shippo. "You didn't see ANYthing, brat!"

Soon after, Inuyasha had packed up the camp with Shippo, they had collected Sango and more or less told her what they were going to do ("I am NOT a whore!" whack), and set off to rescue Kagome from Sesshy and Miroku.

Meanwhile, back in the forest, Rin and Myrtle were staring at the iPod in befuddlement (a/n: isn't that a cool word? Be-fudd-le-ment!). "What do you mean, it just died?" Myrtle asked, "It can't just DIE like that!"

"Yeah, well it did! I didn't do anything to it; it just stopped making that song!" Rin exclaimed, shaking the iPod in an attempt to revive it.

"Wait, what's that noise? That noise like a train?" Myrtle asked, suddenly listening for the train noise.

"What's a train?" Rin asked, looking around the woods nervously for this 'train' creature that was making the scary choo-choo noise. Suddenly a bright red bubble was seen floating down out of the sky. The bubble drifted its way down to the forest floor, until it was popped by a tree branch and Santa fell twenty feet to the ground.

"Goddamn bubbles. I wish we hadn't eaten the fing reindeer. They smelled, but got you somewhere a lot faster without looking like a goddamn pansy," Santa muttered angrily, brushing off his coat and boots.

"Ohmygod, Santa CUSSED!" Myrtle exclaimed.

"Yeah, and not for the first time neither," Santa belched. "Now, yo ho ho, what's yer prollem?"

Rin looked to Myrtle for assistance. Myrtle merely shrugged, saying "Back in the future, they say he's a jolly old elf. I guess you can't have a children's story about a mean old drunk."

"Thaz right, you can't!" Santa grinned, then stumbled in place. "Now, whaz yer prollem, pretty girls?" Rin shrugged at Myrtle, then said "This magic music box thing won't make music anymore, Mr. Santa. What should we do?"

"Look, I really dunno, pretty girl. I don't do much. We let the slaves…ah mean the 'elves'…do the work around where I'm from. See, ah could take yer iPod back with me, but there's no real guarantee that I'd remember to get it fixed, or even that you'd see it agin," Santa said.

"Oh. Ooookay…" Rin said, glancing at Myrtle with a 'you-can-come-help-me-with-this-loud-drunk-anytime' look. "OH! Right, now, Santa, I think I hear some magical reindeer off in that glade over there," Myrtle said, pointing off to the left.

"Mmmm…ye don't say, pretty ladies," Santa said, waddling off as quick as his reindeer-leather boots would carry his large mass into the woods. As soon as he was gone, Rin and Myrtle darted off in the opposite direction.

"Oh, god, they'll come to LOVE that disgusting old man in the future?" Rin gasped as she dodged trees. "Yeah, his story was created ages ago, but it didn't got spread on until the 1940s by this company named 'Coca-cola' as a trick to get people to buy their drinks and it caught on from there until the whole world believes in this jolly old man who gives presents at Christmas," Myrtle replied. (a/n: it's true!)

"Sad…" Rin said. "Now we really need to find Kagome before he comes back…"


End file.
